In this day and age a lot of women claim that they don't need a man to take care of them. They have a job, car, house, make their own money and pay their own bills. That's is a great thing and I don't knock it at all. That's how I want to be one day. There is one thing that is krytonite to the independence of a woman...a man. I can honestly admit that I have become a dependent woman. No, I'm not saying that I need a man and that I can't live without out one, but when you have a man and then lose him it can be a shock to the system. I became use to always having someone there, someone to depend on, someone that is always in my corner no matter what. Now that I don't have that I'm living in a state of shock. Going from a relationship to being single, in my opinion, is a MAJOR mind adjustment. It is especially hard for me because I am a very loving and caring person. I feel like I have so much to give and to have no one to give it to has me feeling backed up in love! LOL.
I am dealing with an adjustment period because I find myself feeling lonely and unwanted and just in need of attention. I became very dependent on another person. This is not a completely bad thing, but I have to shake this feeling. As humans we will always feel the need to be connected to another human being. It is just in our nature. As I am writing this I am realizing that I need to focus all of the love that I have on myself and make myself better. It would be great to have someone to share my life with, but at this time no one wants to share in my love. Honestly it is very hard to focus on myself when I really want to share it with someone. I just really have to get over my need for companionship. It is more than just physical that I desire, I want and need an emotional connection also.
To all of my DEPENDENT women out there just like me, keep your head up! Take some time to focus on you and love yourself. It is ok to be single for a while. Your love will come or come again, its just taking its time to be just right for you!
I do not have the answers to everything so anyone else please post comments with advice or suggestions on how to cope. We need help and motivation.
One Love.
Nikea
Friday, June 10, 2011
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
I have come to the realization that breaking up with somebody is more than saying, "We aren't together" or "We are no longer friends". Even though those words may be exchanged, you can still be connected to that person. You still think about that person and you may even wonder what they are doing. These are things that no one, including myself wants to admit to. You think about memories that you shared and time that you spent together. All of this seems to flood your mind as soon as you say "We're done".
When ending an intimate relationship, it is hard to completely break up with that person when you decide to still remain friends. Even though the relationship status has changed, the emotional connections and feelings still remain. In my opinion when you and your ex decided to remain friends you can never completely let go of the feelings and emotions if you continue to be around them. You will always relive the memories and the laughs that you shared together. Its really hard to just be friends with an ex. You truly have to be rid of all of the emotional connections to truly be friends.
Then there are those people that you decide to no longer be friends with. I feel that it is easier to separate yourself from friends because there isn't an intimate physical connection. But it is still a hard connection to break. Especially if you and your friend had a tight bond. Even though you may be mad at that person and the friendship may have ended on bad terms you still think about them and wonder what they are doing. You may even think about what would have happened if you were still friends and you miss the moments that the both of you shared. I find myself in this very situation right now. There are people that use to be my friend but for one reason or another we fell apart. On one hand you want to mend fences and move forward in a friendship, but on the other hand pride just gets in the way. Restarting a friendship can be weird, awkward, difficult and just plain hard. But if the friendship is worth it both parties will be willing to work through all of the awkwardness. I believe that friendships can be restored because I've experienced it.
These are just my opinions about relationships and friendships. Please comment and give your opinions and stories on the subject matter. I'm open to whatever people have to say.
When ending an intimate relationship, it is hard to completely break up with that person when you decide to still remain friends. Even though the relationship status has changed, the emotional connections and feelings still remain. In my opinion when you and your ex decided to remain friends you can never completely let go of the feelings and emotions if you continue to be around them. You will always relive the memories and the laughs that you shared together. Its really hard to just be friends with an ex. You truly have to be rid of all of the emotional connections to truly be friends.
Then there are those people that you decide to no longer be friends with. I feel that it is easier to separate yourself from friends because there isn't an intimate physical connection. But it is still a hard connection to break. Especially if you and your friend had a tight bond. Even though you may be mad at that person and the friendship may have ended on bad terms you still think about them and wonder what they are doing. You may even think about what would have happened if you were still friends and you miss the moments that the both of you shared. I find myself in this very situation right now. There are people that use to be my friend but for one reason or another we fell apart. On one hand you want to mend fences and move forward in a friendship, but on the other hand pride just gets in the way. Restarting a friendship can be weird, awkward, difficult and just plain hard. But if the friendship is worth it both parties will be willing to work through all of the awkwardness. I believe that friendships can be restored because I've experienced it.
These are just my opinions about relationships and friendships. Please comment and give your opinions and stories on the subject matter. I'm open to whatever people have to say.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Go for What You Want
The other night I was watching one of my favorite shows, My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. On this show David, a wedding planner, come in 2 weeks before a wedding and changes the entire wedding! Most of this weddings start off on a low budget, but by the time David gets done the wedding is on the same level as a platinum wedding! It is truly amazing what he can do such a sort amount of time. On the episode that I saw the other night the bride was a fashionista diva, but her wedding was not truly expressing that. By the end of the episode David had planned a fabulous unique runway show style wedding. It was truly amazing to watch! I enjoy watching wedding shows because they give me ideas for my wedding.
I shared all of this because while I was watching this particular episode. This episode simply inspired me to go for what I want. I came to realize that I have always sold myself short and just settled. This applies to little things such as what type of wedding that I want to have and what major I will pursue in college. I've decided from this day forward to no longer just settle! If I want something I'm going to go for it. If I want to have a $50,000 dollar wedding I will. If I want to be a makeup artist or work in fashion then I'm going to do just that! I'm not going to just settle for the practical or the ordinary anymore.. The bible says the Earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and they that dwell therein (Psalms 24:1). This let's me know that God owns the entire world and anything I want I can have because I am his child.
I encourage all who read this chase after they're dreams, goals and aspirations...HARD! NEVER give up and never settle. Don't give up on anything that you want just because it may seem bigger than you or too hard. There is nothing too hard for God! Don't settle for a career you don't really want, a car you don't like or a man that doesn't appreciate you. GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Don't give up on your dreams and don't give up on yourself. You can do and have anything you want. It is crazy how an episode of a wedding show inspired and helped me to realize a better way of living. I hope that I have helped and inspired some one else to adapt a better way of living.
I shared all of this because while I was watching this particular episode. This episode simply inspired me to go for what I want. I came to realize that I have always sold myself short and just settled. This applies to little things such as what type of wedding that I want to have and what major I will pursue in college. I've decided from this day forward to no longer just settle! If I want something I'm going to go for it. If I want to have a $50,000 dollar wedding I will. If I want to be a makeup artist or work in fashion then I'm going to do just that! I'm not going to just settle for the practical or the ordinary anymore.. The bible says the Earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and they that dwell therein (Psalms 24:1). This let's me know that God owns the entire world and anything I want I can have because I am his child.
I encourage all who read this chase after they're dreams, goals and aspirations...HARD! NEVER give up and never settle. Don't give up on anything that you want just because it may seem bigger than you or too hard. There is nothing too hard for God! Don't settle for a career you don't really want, a car you don't like or a man that doesn't appreciate you. GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Don't give up on your dreams and don't give up on yourself. You can do and have anything you want. It is crazy how an episode of a wedding show inspired and helped me to realize a better way of living. I hope that I have helped and inspired some one else to adapt a better way of living.
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